Why We Must Let Our Kids Be Bored

When my daughter was much younger, it wasn’t uncommon for her to say, “Mom, I’m bored.” As a parent, my first thought was to help her find something to do. But I quickly learned that letting her be bored was a better way to go. Thinking back to my childhood, some of my fondest memories come from times when I had to combat my boredom. If I hadn’t been bored, maybe I wouldn’t have invented “Oink, Oink, Alligator,” an outdoor game, with my friend Rachel. I might not have practiced my guitar or learned another language. My boredom was a real brain boost. 

I rarely hear those complaints from my daughter anymore. That’s partially because she’s older, but likely also because she has a smartphone. These days, if kids are bored, the phone (or computer, tablet, video game, etc.) offers an instant way to fill in the space. But that’s not necessarily a good thing. Dr. Michael Rich, a pediatrician and the founder and director of the Digital Wellness Lab at Boston Children’s Hospital, says we must bring back boredom into our children’s lives and our own. While Dr. Rich, also known as the “Mediatrician,” believes there are many benefits to incorporating digital devices into our daily lifestyle, the longer-term issues can be concerning. 

What Causes Boredom 

When our brains must work to fill time, we may feel bored. Some other symptoms of boredom include restlessness, disinterest in the environment or events, a struggle to focus, procrastination, and feeling tired even after resting.  

“We cannot stand having nothing stimulating us, so we pull out our phones on an elevator or bus or walking down the street.” But here’s the problem, Dr. Rich explains, “These separate us from each other and the world at large.” 

In today’s digital landscape, electronics and everything they offer are ready and waiting to easily fill the time void. But the rabbit hole of scrolling through social media, watching videos, or playing video games is broad and deep. Think about how quickly time passes watching silly pet videos, snack hacks, or even tips for doing better in school or at a job. While we feel like much of what we consume is helpful – even if just to help relax us – sometimes that doesn’t happen. Some videos, images, or articles end up making us feel anxious, upset, depressed, or lonely.. 

The Benefits of Boredom in Children (and Adults!) 

Dr. Rich calls boredom a “crucible of creativity.” Having nothing to do can inspire imagination and innovation. He says that’s “not just because it gives us the mind space that we’re otherwise filling with whatever drivel is on our smartphone. It feels a little uncomfortable, so we fill it with new ideas, questions, or explorations in our minds.” He suggests parents encourage their children to supply that empty space with something new instead of digital media. Being bored can help young people (and adults!) develop new skills, encourage creativity, and improve self-esteem. 

Here are three things you can do to bring some boredom into your child’s life and help them overcome the discomfort of boredom.  

1) Encourage your child to try new things and make free play a priority. 

Free play refers to unstructured time where kids can create and explore without having any predetermined rules or guidelines. Encourage this concept in your child’s life and tell them to let their imagination run wild. Be enthusiastic about some of the amazing things they may think up. Also support your child in trying a new sport, joining a club, discovering a hobby, or reading a book. Talk with your adolescent about new things to explore that will help them feel like their time is complete and interesting. 

2) Get your child outside. 

Spending time in outdoor spaces is natural (and free) therapy. There’s growing evidence that spending time in nature can improve mood. Have your child get outside and look at the sky, the clouds, the trees, and other elements. It may increase their sense of awe and promote creative thinking. 

3) Reduce stimulation and suggest rest. 

Our children have a lot going on in their lives today. Try reducing some of it by balancing structured activities like sports teams or after-school clubs, and some time to rest and relax the brain. Plan for downtime on the family schedule and explain the benefits. Model times in which you fill unstructured time with hobbies or new interests. And if you and your teen take some downtime, try to avoid your digital devices. 

Embrace the Benefits of Boredom 

Acknowledge your child’s feelings when they are bored. Suggest they come up with a solution to their boredom. Remember that boredom can lead a child to a new hobby or interest. When they aren’t constantly stimulated by their phone, tablet, or computer, their minds and imaginations are free to explore new ideas or come up with solutions to tasks or problems. You may also find that allowing for downtime improves their concentration and ability to complete tasks. These days, I’m not afraid to tell my daughter, “It’s good to be bored.”