3 Reasons Why Teens With Chronic Conditions Need Alone Time With Their Doctors

When our children are little, we don’t often leave them alone. But as they move into the teen years, there are times when they need to be alone – like the doctor’s office – even if that may feel hard. It can be especially difficult if your teen faces a chronic illness. Teens with chronic conditions have frequent doctor visits. Your teen’s doctor plays a significant role in managing your teen’s chronic condition. Doctors also help prepare your teen for greater responsibility for managing their health and transitioning to the adult healthcare system. When your teen communicates with their doctor and participates in visits, they learn how to advocate for themselves and make decisions about their health.

Benefits of Alone Time With the Doctor

As your child gets older, your child’s doctor may ask you to leave the room so they can meet with your child alone. Many parents feel surprised or hesitant about this request. It’s normal for parents of teens with a chronic condition to feel worried as their teen takes on greater responsibility for their own health care. However, there are several benefits to your teen having alone time with their doctor.

1. It allows teens to speak up more. When your child was young, they often relied on you to communicate and make decisions with doctors. Sometimes, this pattern persists, even when your teen can better speak for themselves. When your teen has alone time with the doctor, it is up to them to share information and answer questions. They can develop their own style and role different from when you are in the room with them. This is important when learning how to interact with healthcare providers independently. When teens are more involved in communication and decision-making related to their condition, they have more confidence in themselves and take better care of their health.
2. It lets teens be more open with their doctor. Teens and doctors say that one-on-one time enables teens to be more forthcoming. This is especially true if the doctor asks about potentially sensitive topics, such as substance use, sexual health, and mental health. Getting accurate information about these topics is important for doctors to provide the best health care to your teen. Teens may also be more open with their doctor regarding challenges or concerns about their condition or treatment plan. Being open with doctors is a skill that provides the foundation for effective self-management and better health.
3. It strengthens teens’ relationships with their doctor. Parents and doctors say that one-on-one time sends the message that the doctor values the teen’s opinion and helps build trust in the doctor-patient relationship. When teens trust their doctor, they can communicate openly and participate in decision-making about their health. Building this relationship takes time, especially as your teen develops their identity and determines how their condition fits into their life and goals. Being able to navigate medical conversations alone is an essential step towards taking ownership of their chronic condition and transitioning to the adult health care system.

How to Support Your Teen Before the Doctor’s Appointment

Having one-on-one time with doctors has several benefits for teens. But every teen is different. Some teens may feel nervous or intimidated when invited to meet privately with their doctor. Some may prefer for you to stay in the room. You know your teen the best. If your teen is ready, encourage them to have one-on-one time with their doctor. If your teen is hesitant, try to understand why. You could ask, “What concerns do you have about meeting alone?” Or you could say, “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to make it easier.” When your child has alone time with the doctor, it doesn’t mean your support isn’t necessary. You are supporting them in a different way than you did when they were younger. You are helping them with the goal of becoming an independent, successful, and healthy adult. If your teen isn’t ready, it’s okay; there will be more opportunities for one-on-one time as they mature and get comfortable with their doctor.

Research reported in this publication was supported by the National Institute of Nursing Research of the National Institutes of Health under Award Number R01NR020005. The content is solely the responsibility of the authors and does not necessarily represent the official views of the National Institutes of Health.