5 Ways to Help Teens with Chronic Conditions Get Involved in Doctor’s Visits

For many families, a doctor’s visit happens once a year. For a family with a teen dealing with a chronic condition, doctor visits may happen frequently and can be stressful. But they don’t have to be – especially if you involve your child. Doctor visits allow you to discuss concerns, change treatment plans, and build a strong relationship with your child’s doctor. There are also other benefits to your teen.

Involve Your Teen With a Chronic Condition at the Doctor Visit 

Involving teens with a chronic condition in doctor visits allows them to practice communication and decision-making skills. It can provide a sense of control over their condition and treatment regimen. Research also suggests that participating in discussions during visits helps youth feel valued. Practicing in this way while receiving the support of parents at the same time prepares teens to take responsibility for their condition as they transition to adulthood.

How to Involve Them 

Teens can be involved in doctor visits in multiple ways. What this looks like differs for each teen, depending on their personality, maturity, and preference for involvement. Teens can participate in discussions and decision-making by actively listening to what the doctor says or answering the doctor’s questions. When teens bring up concerns for discussion, ask questions, or express their ideas and opinions about their condition or treatment plan, they take a more active role in their care. 

Your Role as a Parent

Your teen’s increasing involvement during visits doesn’t mean your role is less important. Parents still play a critical role as a source of support for teens during the doctor visit. We know that most teens want input from parents about health-related decisions, even as they get older. Think of your role as shifting from leading the decision-making towards being a coach or sounding board. Here are five ways to help your teen be involved in their doctor visits. 

1. Help your teen prepare in advance of the visit. Parents and teens with a chronic condition like the idea of preparing for the doctor’s visit. This strategy gives youth a tool for actively engaging in the visit. Help your teen prepare by asking them to write down their questions or concerns to discuss with the doctor. Work together to identify goals for the visit. Ask your teen how you can be most helpful to them during the upcoming visit.
2. Encourage your teen to answer the doctor’s questions. It is natural for doctors and parents to lead the discussion. But you can direct the conversation towards the teen. Some teens may need a parent’s or caregiver’s support to feel empowered to speak up. For example, if the doctor asks you about your child’s symptoms or treatments, turn to your child for the answer. You could say, “Let’s hear what Ashley has to say about that,” or “Jose, do you want to answer that question first?” Your perspective is also essential, but redirecting questions to your child helps to center the visit and the discussion around your teen. 
3. Create space for your teen to talk during the visit. Research suggests that when parents step back, teens speak up more. You likely did most of the talking during visits when your child was younger, but now your teen needs space to take a more active role. Some teens may need more time to process what the doctor says or recommends during the visit. Silence is okay as your teen formulates a question or response.  Avoid interrupting or answering questions directed to your child.
4. Ask your teen what they think. Teens may not speak up on their own, even when they have feelings or opinions about what is being discussed.  When discussing specific recommendations or decisions during the visit, you could ask your teen, “What do you think about that?” or “Do you have any concerns about that?”  You could say, “What you think really matters,” or “It’s your body, and I don’t know how it feels for you.”  Asking for your child’s opinion shows that you value what they say and helps everyone get on the same page. Challenges may arise when you and your teen disagree about a decision, but getting everyone’s perspective is an important first step in addressing differing opinions and coming to an agreement. 
5. Let the doctor know what is working. Highlighting your teen’s strengths — and what is going well with their condition and treatment regimen — sets the stage for teen participation during the visit. For example, you can tell the doctor that your child is taking their medications consistently, following nutritional guidelines, or managing sports and their treatment plan well. When teens feel criticized or embarrassed during doctor visits, they are more likely to shut down. Focusing on strengths lets your teen know you appreciate them and see what they are doing well. Doing this empowers your teen to engage in health-related discussions and decisions.

Involving teens in discussions and decision-making during doctor visits is an important way for them to practice their communication and decision-making skills. It shows them that their voice is essential. By involving teens, you can help them take ownership of their condition and gain confidence as they begin to independently manage their condition and interact with the healthcare system. If your teen is not responsive when you try to involve them, don’t worry. They may be having a bad day or just aren’t ready. You are still setting the expectation for their participation later and increasing the likelihood that they may speak up in future visits.

Research reported in this publication was supported by the National Institute of Nursing Research of the National Institutes of Health under Award Number R01NR020005. The content is solely the responsibility of the authors and does not necessarily represent the official views of the National Institutes of Health.