Have you ever played with a set of finger traps? The harder you pull, the more stuck you get. The way to release your fingers is to relax them. Your relationship with your teen can sometimes feel like a finger trap, and you get stuck by reacting (rather than pausing to listen and understand) or restricting your teen. Get yourself unstuck by being a calm, steadfast, non-hovering presence. When you get out of this finger trap phase, you’ll find yourself in a new, mature, stronger relationship that flows both ways. And that is worth relaxing for.