Your job as a parent: set boundaries. Your teenager’s job: push boundaries. Now that we know each of our goals, we can work backwards and make sure the boundaries are safely pushable. Meaning, your teenager should be working to expand their world, so those boundaries shouldn’t be restrictive. They aren’t bars on a jail cell; they’re more like training wheels on a bike. They slow down the rider until they prove their balance. So make sure the boundaries you set are helping your teenager find their balance, rather than putting on the brakes. Then they’ll build their skills of self-control.